Relationships can be though. Yes, in most cases, the good things outweigh the bad stuff but couples do have to spend time (sometimes a lot) to learn to communicate with each other if they want things to work in the long run and if they both want to be happy in the relationship.
There are tons of methods, concepts, and techniques which you can use to increase the odds of working out the problems that may arise in your relationship, and one of those things is the concept of the 5 love languages.
You might have already heard of these languages of love – they are a concept first introduced in 1995, by the author, Gary Chapman, in his book, The Five Love Languages: How To Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate.
THE BIG FIVE
According to Chapman’s concept, there are five love languages and everybody has one primary and a secondary and by discovering your own and your partner’s language you can basically help evade conflicts and solve them more efficiently.
According to him, by understanding each other’s love language in a relationship, you two can work things out much easier and will be able to add “quality” to your relationship, either through words, togetherness, gifts or by actions which you do for each other.
Love languages – in his concept – help a couple communicate their love better and thus, these love languages help form a solid base for the relationship and can strengthen the existing bond between two people.
A love language is a way someone values, understands and communicates love, and We See You will help you find out your own love language right now.
This love language focuses on the time that a couple spends together and a person whose language is quality time will value when they are given undivided attention.
Yes, spending time together can be wearing sweatpants, eating pizza and binge-watching shows, but in this case, we’re talking about something else. While, in some cases, overdosing with Netflix and junk food can work, in most cases the quality time we’re talking about would be more about talking to each other, looking at each other, or making memories, getting to know each other better rather than a sitcom marathon.
Quality time can be a rough language, since we all have tons of commitments and only a limited amount of time at our disposal. When you commit to spending some of your free time with your partner whose love language is quality time, talking and just, being there for them, they will truly understand and value the love you show to them.
WORDS OF AFFIRMATION
Some people value the time they spend together with their significant other the most, while others will feel and will express love the best with words.
Words of affirmation and appreciation can go a long way in deepening a relationship and showing true love. Simple and straight observations or remarks will do the trick. “You look stunning in that dress”, “That suit compliments you”, “Your hair is lovely today”, “I love it how you can always make me laugh”, etc.
Words of affirmation are powerful tools of conveying your love and emotions and no wonder it’s one of the five love languages.
When it comes to these love languages, there can be different things that your partner will value (if words of affirmation is their love language), however, most experts agree that making them feel appreciated will satisfy their needs.
If your partner’s love language is the one mentioned above, don’t shy away from expressing your love for them with words. Make them feel appreciated and loved by expressing how you value them or the fact that they’re a part of your life.
While all romantic relationships are based on giving (either our time, words of affection, attention, etc.), for some people, visible symbols (physical gifts) are the best tools of showing love and how you value them.
You might jump to the conclusion that these people are materialistic, but for them, holding even just a little something you gave them says: “Oh she remembered how much this meant to me. She listened,” or “He was thinking about me”. In this case, it’s not the gift that really matters, it’s the symbol of you thinking about them, and that thought is what really matters which is expressed through the physical gift. The gift itself doesn’t have to be expensive, or it doesn’t even have to cost any money.
Emotional love and physicality go hand in hand. There is also actual evidence with suggests that infants who have been held, kissed, and stroked have developed healthier emotional traits and habits later in life than those babies who received less physical contact.
For some, physical contact remains detrimental in their relationships as well. For these people, kissing, holding hands, and sex are powerful ways of communicating affection, love, and trust. They need physical contact to feel loved, to feel secure in a relationship.
This is a no-brainer, however, there are some people out there who aren’t that “touchy”, If this is the case, go slow, and be honest about it with your partner. Don’t start by doing stuff that makes you uncomfortable. For starters, sitting next to each other a little closer than usual can be good. Touching your partner’s shoulder as you pass them by can also be a good start. A brief kiss, a few hugs here and there will all help you get started and will help you ease into it.
In all honesty, this maybe is the simplest love language out there because you the only thing you have to do, is to show your love with physical contact. Unless it’s a long distance relationship.
ACTS OF SERVICE
Simply put, this is lending a helping hand or doing certain things for your partner.
These things don’t have to be radical, sometimes small little chores, like setting the table, washing the dishes, cleaning up or cooking dinner will do the trick.
Yes, sometimes, these things require planning, will take time and will require your focus, however, when you’re positive about it, they can be pretty powerful expressions of the love you feel for your partner.
As you can see, these love languages require different approaches, however, all of them require YOUR efforts and positive spirit to “make it happen” for your partner.
The key is to communicate in your partner’s love languages is to do it in a positive, willing matter. This way, even if you can’t get it always right, you will at least know that your partner acknowledges your actions and your efforts. In return, they will also strive to satisfy your love-needs too.